Holla world

Where to Start?

Life, at times it can be something that is fast paced and energetic; a whirlwind of emotions and at other times it can me as still as a placid lake. I am finding that both of these things can be good, but at the same time challenging to cope with. I think that the real trick is to find your happy medium where you can be going and doing, but you can also have time to make sense of it all.
Well, enough of that deep and confusing thought process, I am in the in-between. I have one more semester of school and that is fun and exciting, but at the same time terrifying and therefore anxiety. . . but the beat goes on. We recently celebrated the birth of Sage Anne Harper on June 4th. That is great. I am so happy for them, but at the same time I am sitting here going... what the, I am 25 and balding, I think I am ready to start having some of my own. I know, take a chill pill right. Well, these are things that sometimes you just feel and you need to write down so I guess I am writing them. I have so much hope for the future and faith that the Lord will guide me to achieve great things, but I am also full of fear and doubts. I think that the Lord has blessed me with extreme faith and therefore every time I do doubt, I then immediately proceed to kick myself in the butt and press forward. This may seem like a good thing, but at times it can be the most frustrating thing of all. Though I can doubt and fear, I will never loose hope. I will always know that God is in charge and therefore I shall prevail.
To look on the a positive side of things, I am so blessed and can never truly doubt this. I love life and all it has to offer. I just get a little frustrated and I guess that makes me human.

But, the spirit will guide and deep inside I know my Savior loves me.

I think I can, I think I can, . . .

Two weeks and counting. As the semester slowly ebbs to a close I see the possibilites that lie before me, there are so many and I am both extatic and a nervous.
First off, my future until December is known (minus summer job, but that is a minor detail.) I will be Student teaching at Salem Hills High School. I will be working with Justin Bills and Polly Dunn and I am very excited to get some experience, and more excited to GRADUATE in the near future--before I'm 26 ;)
Some things I look forward to this summer: Jacie's Wedding, May 3rd in Mesa, Arizona. Shani and I are going to make a trip of it and hit some national parks: Arches, Bryce, Mesa Verde, Grand Canyon and the four courners. This will be fun to go on an adventure with her and start the summer right.
I look forward to getting a head start with Justin Bills on the Fall and learn how things function in the world of MUSIC ED!
I AM DOING AN OLYMPIC TRIATHLON. September 7th, Eric, Shani and I are traveling to YUBA LAKE to compete in our first OLYMPIC TRI. I plan to do a lot of training this summer and this is so motivating. I also will use this as a time to modify my diet and lose some weight. I would love to lose 40 or 50 lbs.
I want to revive my spiritual self this summer and restore old good habits. I need to make time for the spirit to guide me more in my life and allow me to grow from that. What a blessing it is to be the person I am and have the gifts I do, and love the gifts I have. I am so blessed in so many ways and it is my turn to pay the Lord back in some way.
I look forward to the future and what is holds. But for now I must focus on the Present, two weeks and I can let the magic begin!

Stupid Utah Theatre . . .

I got cast in another show. . . and Shani didn't. I hate it. I really am so tired of being put into this situation where I have to decide what to do and worry about so much crap. 1. It is a good thing to be cast, it shows I am castable and that I have potential. 2. This would be a fun show. 3. Shani sang the crap out of that call-back and at least deserved to be in ensemble for making it that far. 4. It happened again. I am so sick of it. I wish I could have more of a say it hoe people think, but I can't. What a crappy spot to be in in my life. . . I am blessed to have the most amazing wife and know that she would support me in any way, but I can't help but being bitter and mad about this constant state of pleasing people.

Well, I am super swamped and sick and it has been a while since I posted. I am currently in the musical Civil War at the Orem Hale. It is my first show here and it has been a great experience. On the other hand it is hard to be in a show that runs for so long and be in school. I am eating into my homework time with performances.
I am Pre-student teaching at Oak Canyon Jr. and LOVING it. It is hard and I have to constantly deal with classroom managment, but it is so worth it to me. I have learned to love my students and love that they are so enthusiastic about everything. I am working on my TWS for them on head tone and am so excited to try this out in the classroom, but it is a lot of work putting it all together. I wish I had more time to do it. . .
I am in Dram. Lit. and it is killer. Fun but killer. I have a paper that I am loving and yet struggling to find the time necessary to write it. I had that because I feel like I am letting people down. . .
I am Loving choral aranging, but need to make time to work on the Mid-term. Sad :( this is somehting that I want to work on, but can't find time to do so.
I have some sort of funky virus and it is draining me and leaving my throught real sore.
Shani and I signed up for the Lazy Ironman again. . . but need to start doing it.
I am grateful to the Lord for all of my gifts and though I feel a bit swamped right now, I know that I can do hard things. I DO need to be better in my relationship with my Father in Heaven and trusting in Him more in my life right now.
Oh .. I am taking the Music Praxis next week . . .
#crazylifeyetimsurviving

I have been grumpy all day and I had no idea why, but then it hit me. 10 years ago today my brother committed suicide. I have lived through a lot in these 10 years and am a better man for it, but I can't help but think what Jason might have experienced. Marriage, children, career success, happiness and time with me. I love him so much and miss him, (the stuff I remember, anyway) but I know he is doing his best. I think I need to constantly re-evaluate my life and look at the pros and cons, but the more I think about the pros I can't help but be super grateful. I know that I am a child of God. I know that He has a plan for us called the plan of happiness and I know that because of this plan I have the potential to see my brother again. What a blessing it has been to live the life I live and be surrounded by the people I am. I know these are things I need not take for granted, and I do. I want to be better. I want to work harder to make life happier and most of all I want to return to live with my Heavenly Father and brother Jason. Jas- I love you and I hope you know that I will always love you. :) Life sucks at times, but know that you will always be a part of my heart. Brother bond! This is one of those moments where I am grateful for the tender mercies of the Father and for the power of the Atonement.

I am studying for my finals and realizing that the end is near. I love this. FYI: Shani and I both finished the Lazy Ironman! My birthday is in 10 days and I am having a choir nerd birthday party.

I am happy and life is great!

So I am sitting here way too late at night and I just found out that I made it into my first Hale show. . . the frustrating thing is that Shani hasn't got an e-mail yet and therefore I cannot sleep. The anxiety is killing me. I mean, I am happy, but at the same time upset. I want everything to be awesome and therefore I am a little pissed that she auditions and gets called back for things and she freaking deserves to be cast. I don't like being put in this position, and I know she will be fine with it, but I personally am not so happy about it. This is where I am at right now. . .