I have been grumpy all day and I had no idea why, but then it hit me. 10 years ago today my brother committed suicide. I have lived through a lot in these 10 years and am a better man for it, but I can't help but think what Jason might have experienced. Marriage, children, career success, happiness and time with me. I love him so much and miss him, (the stuff I remember, anyway) but I know he is doing his best. I think I need to constantly re-evaluate my life and look at the pros and cons, but the more I think about the pros I can't help but be super grateful. I know that I am a child of God. I know that He has a plan for us called the plan of happiness and I know that because of this plan I have the potential to see my brother again. What a blessing it has been to live the life I live and be surrounded by the people I am. I know these are things I need not take for granted, and I do. I want to be better. I want to work harder to make life happier and most of all I want to return to live with my Heavenly Father and brother Jason. Jas- I love you and I hope you know that I will always love you. :) Life sucks at times, but know that you will always be a part of my heart. Brother bond! This is one of those moments where I am grateful for the tender mercies of the Father and for the power of the Atonement.

I am studying for my finals and realizing that the end is near. I love this. FYI: Shani and I both finished the Lazy Ironman! My birthday is in 10 days and I am having a choir nerd birthday party.

I am happy and life is great!

So I am sitting here way too late at night and I just found out that I made it into my first Hale show. . . the frustrating thing is that Shani hasn't got an e-mail yet and therefore I cannot sleep. The anxiety is killing me. I mean, I am happy, but at the same time upset. I want everything to be awesome and therefore I am a little pissed that she auditions and gets called back for things and she freaking deserves to be cast. I don't like being put in this position, and I know she will be fine with it, but I personally am not so happy about it. This is where I am at right now. . .

So Shani read somewhere that if you write in a Journal you are able to do better on tests, so here goes. I am doing great right now in my life and am thankful for the gifts God has given me--Really. I have so much to be grateful for, I cant be depressed. I have a great wife, a great major and a great ability to be positive and I consider these things to be gifts from God. I am in a music history class, and I am really enjoying the material we cover, I know that I can get history if I don't obsess about the details, and focus on the people and their accomplishment. Really, I have been blessed as I call upon the Lord for assistance in my studying and test taking process. I have so much to be happy about in my life, I really can't complain. I love the Lord and I love my life.

It totally worked!

I am totally going to do this--it is an Ironman in a month. I have to run 26.2 Miles, Bike 112 and Swim 2.4. I am excited and it has inspired me to take some athletic classes next semester. I love it!

I am currently sitting in my music 306 class and not enjoying it. . . not because I don't find it interesting, but because I can't do too hot on the tests and that is the grade. Typical music department class.
This semester is starting to die down for me and I am loveing that, I have so many things that I have finished in the past few weeks. Here are a few things,

I finished my mask club: I couldn't be happier with the way it turned out. That class has become a lot easier and I am grateful. We finished Little Shop and I am so glad I was a part of that as well.

I am happy with my life currently and looking forward to every day. I can't complain.

Life has seemed to settle and I am feeling more confident and ready to do this school thing. I know that I am a son of God and that I love Him. I have a lot to learn and a lot I could stress about, but I want to simply live in the mind set that I am awesome and I can do hard things. I think with that in mind I am set!

AGHHHHHHHHHHH! I am a little overwhelmed with life at the moment and need a place to vent.
First, I studied my butt off for a Music History test and Bombed it . . .
I have a Show I've directed going up tomorrow . . .
I have no freaking time to do anything. . .
and I am not working out at the moment . . .

Ok. Now, what is good in my life?

I am married to an incredible woman!
I am in a show right now and that makes me happy.
My show opens tomorrow and closes tomorrow!
This test was only 10% of my grade.

Grades don't matter in the end, a degree does.

Okay, I feel a little better. . .